ABOUT

CLEAR OUR CONSCIENCE

Explaining the Logo.

The name CLEAR OUR CONSCIENCE seems pretty self-explanatory, but I don't want to assume where anyone is, at this moment of their journey. So, I deem it helpful and necessary to explain.

CONSCIENCE

Repressed emotions being judged by one's present-day feelings.

The "being judged by one's present-day feelings" is the crucial component of this statement or concept. This is where one feels shame, guilt, anger etc., which holds them hostage and keeps them stuck in their patterns.

The idea of "clearing our conscience" represents the accepting of any negative or even positive emotions that we have either been stuck in or are using as a means to create or fulfill unhealthy emotional patterns.

COC LOGO

The original logo design and colors are a visual representation of this concept.

The first letter C is OPEN and a rich YELLOW. When we are young our minds are completely OPEN and everything is like a new BRIGHT IDEA! The yellow is to represent LIGHT. So, it's the young, vibrant, bright open mind just wanting to take everything in and learn.

Then, unfortunately, that light is slowly dimmed due to the many circumstances every child experiences in modern times. As the light dims the child's mind also begins to close off. Then one day the light has been completely shut out and all that's left is darkness.

The BLACKED-OUT O. This is where all the pain, suffering, guilt, shame, anger, letdowns, approval, acceptance, all the COMPENSATING takes place! Unfortunately, this is where most of the world psychologically remains, in this closed off darkness. Only knowing what is within that space, they have no choice but to work within those parameters. This is where the PATTERNS come in. With no new information being let in, one will find a way to repeat these same patterns by simply adjusting them to fit each situation or individual. Now, to the GOOD part!

The last C, in this story told through simple design, is where the child/mind is finally opened back up. The story being told from left to right, the first C started OPEN then became closed off, turning into the DARKNESS O. The last C started closed but is now OPEN again to everything in front of it. The color of this C is SILVER. Silver/Chrome is like a mirror. It doesn't represent any color, but instead reflects whatever is in front of it at any given moment. It is vital for us to reopen our minds, not being afraid to reflect on our past but only for the sake of moving forward to be completely present in what is in the now.

I’d like to give you some insight into my life to help you better understand who I am and how I came to realize the fundamentals of myself, the world and REALITY.

I grew up the youngest of eight children in a small town in rural Indiana. My father died when I was just 2 years old, and my mother struggled with alcohol abuse and had a hard time taking care of us and herself.

I left home at the age of 13, sleeping on people’s couches or floors, in cars and at the local pool hall. I was arrested twice for drinking as a 14-year-old and spent time in a juvenile home and maximum -security juvenile facility. I took my mother to court shortly after and won the right to legally leave home and live with my brother. Eventually I took a job working second shift at a local factory so I could rent my own home, all while still attending high school. By the time I’d graduated, I’d been completely independent and responsible for myself for four years.

I joined the Army in 1997 at the age of 20 and was deployed to Germany and eventually Bosnia. I suffered a severe knee, ankle and back injury during an accident while working as an Army mechanic and was honorably discharged just days before my four-year enlistment was up. Those injuries would lead to decades of pain, surgeries, varying levels of disability, and a struggle with opioids.

I returned home and found work as a welder, metal fabricator, and home remodeling. I also found love, marrying a former high school sweetheart. We’ve been blessed with two amazing daughters, but with her pregnancies came debilitating postpartum depression and PMDD, leaving my wife mentally paralyzed and unable to care for herself or our daughters for months at a time.

Through it all, what I’m most proud of is my steadfast commitment to my daughters and my family. I’ve been a rock for my family, never asking for help or breaking from the pressure, despite my own ongoing health challenges that have made me rely on a cane and wheelchair at times.

Despite all the obstacles in front of me, I’ve found my way forward. I’ve overcome abuse, neglect, abandonment, addiction, and life-altering injuries, just to name a few. I start each day not just in debilitating pain, but with the memories of a lifetime of emotional hurt and physical struggle. Yet, I don’t feel sorry for myself. In fact, I’ve never been more content and excited about my life as I am now!

A great deal of that excitement is because I can now share with others how I’ve pushed past the seemingly impossible situations in my life and learned to free myself from negative emotional constraints. Regardless of your individual circumstances, I promise you I will provide you a pathway to your own personal freedom – to help you clear your conscience from whatever has kept you in the dark.

I tell you all of this just to share some of the life experiences that have shaped me and my perspective. I know at some point I’m going to frustrate, trigger or offend you. I’m positive of this, so when it happens, I hope you’ll draw on some aspect of my life to help give you perspective and allow you to focus back on the topic. No matter how insensitive or direct I may be speaking, know it comes from personal experience and understanding, not from ignorance or malice.

I also think it's important to note that I am not an academic nor have I taken any inspiration from those who have come before me. Having lived most of my life without a Perceived Authority Figure, I had the opportunity to realize many things about the world without being restricted. I haven't followed or been influenced by any particular individual or concepts. I'm sure I am saying things that others have already stated, with that you can be sure that it is based on coincidence and/or the fact that it simply exists that way in REALITY.

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